It seems that on the rare occasions I think of writing about something, a solid 90% of those thoughts are complaints or criticisms. Does that make me pessimistic? I’m definitely cynical, but can I be both cynical and optimistic?

I’d like to think I’m an accepting and friendly person, but I probably don’t come off that way if I even am. I guess it boils down to the fact that I hold people to higher standards than most. Which I don’t think is really a problem.

I’m in my fourth (or fifth if you count last summer) semester of college and I’m still not feeling any closer to an adult. In 16 months I could have a legit job that pays and I’m still an infant. I wish the world would just chew me up and spit me out, cold and naked.

I hate not having any sense of certainty about what’s in my future. I guess that’s life, but it was always comforting to know that after 6th grade I would just go to 7th.

I’m constantly disconnected and looking towards the horizon instead of the gum under my shoes.

I guess these are my thoughts as of now.

“I Gave You All” – Mumford & Sons

Teehee.

“Exogenesis: Symphony, Part 3 (Redemption)” – Muse

Things I would do if I for some reason had broad, sweeping jurisdiction to incite global change:

1. Require at least 7 hours of sleep before someone is allowed to go out in public.
2. Build adult-sized playgrounds.
3. Ban (most) fermented beverages.
4. Replace waving with high fives and handshakes with hugs.
5. Institute daily power use rations.

It’s a start.

“Strange Condition” – Pete Yorn

95% of the time the title of my blog posts has absolutely nothing to do with content and is just taken from whatever is playing on shuffle. It’s too stressful and too final to deliberately choose a title. This title falls in the other 5% and was chosen deliberately.

I’m getting really tired of giving so much more to people than I take. Which is kind of ironic considering how self-serving and uncompassionate I consider myself to be. I’m tired of cleaning up after other people’s mistakes. I’m tired of answering stupid (and unstupid) questions that can be answered by 15 seconds of Googling or applying basic human thought. I’m tired of teaching people how to do things for the umpteenth time.

I don’t think I ask for a lot. Maybe you can chalk that up to my independence and foresight; I’d be pretty much fine on my own if I were capable of getting an actual job and a decent cookbook. I realize that I’m (overly) particular and hold others to high standards, but for God’s sake can’t you just give me a break and do something for me.

I kinda get the feeling like I’m being used,
And now I get the feeling that you never heard
One goddamned word I ever said.

“Losing a Whole Year” – Third Eye Blind