First, let me publicly utter my thanks to the wonderful and talented Mr. Stephan Jenkins. It’s been just about a year since it suddenly occurred to me that “Semi-Charmed Life” is one of the greatest songs of all time as far as memorability (that a word?). I downloaded it and iTunes’ed for other 3EB songs and found out that “How’s It Going to Be,” “Never Let You Go,” and “Deep Inside of You” are all by 3EB too. Over the next month or so, I managed to get my hands on all their CDs, and I think I can honestly say that it’s affected me in a deeper way than any other song. Hell, I’ve been rockin’ out to “Motorcycle Driveby” everyday when I get out of the shower for the past 6 months at least, and every freaking time that line gets me. “I’ve never been so alone, and I’ve never been so alive.” Gah, have you ever heard anything so… profound and simple? It just makes so much sense. And there’s so much emotion behind his voice. You can hear some new little detail everytime you play the song. Geez. So before I turn this into the 3EB love-fest I’ve always wanted to host, I’ll carry on.

What’s sad is that little tribute to 3EB is probably going to be longer than the actual point of this post. This has been on my mind for a long time, and no matter how much I think about it, I can’t come up with an easy way to explain it in more than a sentence. Which is usually good, but in this case… I don’t know… Maybe I should just write a book or something. Once I can come up with a way to explain this…

So folks, what it boils down to is this: I want to know why, as humans, we associate things which other. Did it make sense?

It started off as The Sophistication Factor and basically evolved into that little “thesis” of sorts that you just read.

So I guess I should explain the roots of The Sophistication Factor. I suppose it started with someone asking me if I like coffee. If you know me, it’s easy to guess that I said no. I mean, honestly, my tongue agrees with you on sweet, sour, and salty, so if I think coffee is disgustingly bitter, shouldn’t you too?

Going on. Tea. I’m Persian. If anyone drinks tea, it’s supposed to be me. My parents are sitting downstairs right now drinking tea. Probably like the 5th cup of the day no less. But I can’t stand tea. And I don’t think anyone really does like tea or coffee. Maybe you learn to love it because you feel like you should. Because one fool decided to take some beans and pour water through them, couldn’t give up his idea when he found out it was disgusting, and now the whole world is full of crazy coffee addicts.

Maybe that’s not really a good example. What I’m asking is why is it “cool” to drink coffee? Sort of like that funky feeling you get when you’re in a bookstore. You know what I’m talking about. You feel snobbishy and intelligenty and you want to tell people about it. Sophistication anyone? And you want to read expensive design magazines, and sip your coffee, and wear those semi-cheesy plastic frame glasses. And pay some smart entrepreneur a boat-load of money while doing it.

Some more. Who came up with the idea that it was cool to smoke? Why do associate tattoos with being “bad”? Why do people feel the need to drink, when if you stop and think about it, almost everybody would agree that it’s one of the stupidest things to do? Why do some people find body piercings so attractive? Why do we want stainless steel appliances when it just makes your cleaning three times as hard? Why are we still buying huge SUVs? Why are we so greedy? Why do we drink coffee?

Does anybody know what the hell I’m talking about?